


What did you do?

by orphan_account



Category: It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
Genre: A lot of cursing, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Fluff, ITS CRAZY, M/M, Out Mac McDonald, Slow Burn, also charlie is pan and dee is bi but thats not relevent, can u guys believe dennis is canonically a bisexual homoromantic man who is in the closet, cursing, in an odd turn of events dee is the #1 macdennis shipper, oh there might be some very minor dee/charlie stuff later on, what are these tags
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-10-07
Updated: 2020-10-21
Packaged: 2021-03-07 16:34:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,466
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26870725
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Because of Mac's panicking, Dennis agreed to pretend to be his boyfriend for a month.This is going to bite him in the ass later, he knows it.
Relationships: Mac McDonald/Dennis Reynolds
Comments: 7
Kudos: 29





	1. Chapter 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First Macdennis fic let's gooooo  
> sorry if this comes off as very ooc I tried

it was about 6:00 when Dennis’ phone began to ring. 

He was standing in the kitchen making popcorn for him and his roommate’s annual predator movie night. 

Mac had just texted him saying he was coming home from the bar. Dennis had originally suggested they both go home together, but Mac wanted to have a few more drinks before leaving, so they left it at that. 

“hello?” he said picking up the phone. 

“Is Mac at your apartment?” 

“oh, god Dee, what do you want?” 

“Answer the question jackass. Is Mac in the room with you?” 

“No, he’s on his way. Why did you need to call me? I’m in the middle of something!” 

“Well, you remember that kinda gross looking dude who was in the bar before you left?” 

“Charlie or Frank?” 

“Jesus, neither. The one sitting towards the back.” 

“oh him” 

“yeah, well, just as Mac’s leaving, he comes up and starts hitting on him” 

“Jesus Christ.... what did he say...” Dennis grumbled leaning against the counter. 

“that's the thing. He and said he already had a boyfriend” 

“what- who??” 

“you” 

A long pause. A very long pause. The silence was only interrupted by Mac busting into the apartment, beers in hand. 

Dennis hung up the phone to go strangle his roommate. 

“hey man! Brought some beer! Ready for predato-” 

“WHY THE FUCK WOULD YOU SAY WE WERE DATING?!” 

Another pause. Mac clearly thought this was something he would be able to get away with. Christs sake, he did it in front of Dee and Charlie, how dumb was he? 

“I- uhh” Mac stuttered “I don’t know, I panicked dude, and-” 

“good god... Well your gonna call Dee right now and explain that it was a lie, and this will be done.” 

“well......” 

“what did you do” 

“well, they of course started bombarding me with questions, so I said we would explain more later. 

“Christ Mac, why can’t we just tell them you lied?” 

“I don’t know man, it’s just....” Mac tensed up and gave the puppy dog eyes. God damn his stupid puppy dog eyes. 

“...fine.” Dennis knew he would regret this later. No possible way this could end well. 

Mac lit up, because of course he did. 

“But there's going to be strict limitations.” he had no idea why he was agreeing to this. He had no idea why he agreed so quickly too. He would have to destroy all evidence of this after they were finished. There was no possible way he could have rumors of him being gay floating around. 

“no, no, I completely understand that! We can set some!” 

“all right. I’m gonna call dee and rub it in her face. I could tell she thought you were full of shit.” 

She picked up after only 2 rings. 

“what the hell man!?” 

“sorry” 

“Are you guys really dating? And don’t just hang up on me like you did earlier asshat.” 

“....yeah” 

“I KNEW IT! I FUCKING KNEW IT!” she seemed to pull the phone away from her ear “CHARLIE I CALLED IT! PAY UP!” 

“-wait did you bet money on this?” 

“oh yeah. Me and Charlie set up a bet as soon as you assholes moved in together.” 

“......let me get this straight-” 

Dee snorted. He ignored her. 

“you’ve had a bet with Charlie for almost TWENTY YEARS that me and Mac are dating?” 

“well, it was that you two would get together, but yeah basically. Want to know how much I got?” 

“no” 

“I don’t care. Thanks for making me 200$ bro” 

“I didn’t even know Charlie had 200$ at all, much less ready to be handed out.” 

“I’m 90% sure he just stole it from frank, but it’s mine now and that’s all that matters.” 

“my lord....” 

“yeah. Anyways, glad you're out of the closet now. -oh, Charlies yelling about something. I’ll call you back.” she hung up 

He didn’t want her to call back. 

There was no going back now, and that thought made him almost sick to his stomach. 

‘out of the closet’ ugh. As if. He was only doing this because.... because.... never mind.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SIGN: stop making your chapters only like 500 words long
> 
> ME: this sign won't stop me because I can't read


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry this took so long to come out-  
> writer's block really did slap me and said "no think today"

The night progressed as planned. They watched Predator (of course) but Dennis couldn’t shake the odd feeling he had. Things weren't the same anymore. Well, of course things weren’t the same. He and Mac had to pretend to be dating now. God, everyone was going to think he’s gay after this. Which he isn’t nope. Straight as a ruler. 

He was a little worried about Mac though... Him actually being gay and all. Well, truth be told, Dennis had known almost since the day they met. It's just... him actually coming out seemed... oddly official. 

He had to admit they’d drifted apart since then. Which was totally not because Dennis freaked out about how real things were getting. 

On the bright side, maybe this fake dating thing would actually get Mac bowing down to him again. Yeah. That’s why he was doing it. 

The next day, Dennis layed out some rules over breakfast. 

“No kissing” he declared while heating up some oatmeal he found stashed away in their cupboard “there’s no way in hell I’m kissing you” 

Mac seemed to choke a little bit “Yeah, of course, no kissing bro” 

“none of that lovey dovey cuddly bullshit either. At most I’ll hold your hand, but I’m reluctant to even do that.” 

“hold on, should I be taking notes or something?” 

“why- you know what? Sure. Fine. Take notes. I don’t care” 

Mac sprung up, presumably to fetch a notebook and pen, and came back just in time for Dennis to toss the oatmeal on the table. 

He was a shit cook, but Mac wasn’t allowed to prepare food anymore after the whole ‘feeding Dennis dead dog’ incident. 

“ok so.. No kissing.... no PDA...” 

“the fuck’s PDA?” 

“oh- public display of affection. Like, when couples hold hands, or hold each other out in public. Stuff like that.” Mac almost looked wistful saying this. 

“oh. Yeah. Definitely none of...” Dennis gestured towards the notebook “...that” 

“mmhm” he nodded 

“also, as soon as anybody says anything about it being fake, I’m out” 

“W-wait you can’t do that to me dude!” Mac stuttered “the whole point is to convince people it’s real! You can’t just bounce as soon as it gets hard!” 

Dennis gave a long glare until Mac sighed and wrote it on the list. 

“well” he said putting down the pen “I guess we should... you know... try it out?” 

“I guess so” Dennis stood up and stretched “I’ll get the car” 

~I would end the chapter here but it’s way too short so time skip~ 

When they pulled up to the bar, the weight of what was happening hit Dennis like a ton of bricks. Holy shit. He was really doing this. He was really going to pretend to be dating Mac. Fuck. 

As soon as Dennis entered through the door, Charlie barreled towards him and caused him to fall back into Mac’s arms. When he opened his eyes, he saw Charlie wearing what looked like football gear, holding an axe. Inside, Dee was standing on top of the counter, and seemed to be trying to stab something with a knife. 

“oh, Mac, Dennis thank god you’re here” Charlie said exasperated “The rats have employed reinforcement. They're stronger than ever” 

“No, there's just racoons now- UGH GET AWAY BITCH” Dee screamed from inside, furiously swiping at what Dennis know knew was a group of racoons. 

“why are you wearing sports equipment?” Mac asked. Dennis realized he was still sitting in his arms and jolted out. 

“Armor. For the racoons” Charlie replied “Here take these” he shoved a pipe and a rope into their hands 

“Wait- how come Dennis gets the pipe? How am I supposed to kill racoons with a rope?” 

“I don’t know man, just strangle them or something” Charlie ran back into the bar swinging the axe wildly. 

Dennis looked down at the rusty pipe in his hands, and tried to process what was happening. Why weren't they talking about him and Mac? Were racoons really more important? They should have been treating this like a bigger development... but instead things were.... normal. 

He turned to say something to Mac, but he was already Inside trying to chase down the racoons with his rope. It was really a sad sight to see, because the rope was so short, it would be near impossible to even get it all the way around the neck. 

He sighed and walked up to him in the bar. 

“look, I think I’m gonna skip out on this fiasco today. Take the pipe.” 

Mac beamed “thanks man!” he swiped it out of Dennis’ hand and ran off. 

“don't mention it...” he mumbled to himself.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> lmao Dennis look out your feelings are showing


End file.
